Friday, September 17, 2004


Another Reason Why I Don't Ride A Bike.

I don't ride a bike because I have a car. Hey, why would I want to clean my clothes by hand when I own a washer and dryer? Same difference.

Biking is exercise, and all that exercise will only reduce the protective layer of fat I've spent decades building up within my arteries.

I mean, c'mon, how healthy can cycling really be? It didn't stop Lance Armstrong from losing a testicle to cancer, now did it? I never get on a bike unless I have to, and I still have two healthy testicles-- two gargantuan healthy testicles. Ergo, I'm doing something right.

Still need another reason to quit biking? Read this: Bike Lock Can Be Picked With a Pen.
Faster than a speeding bullet, word is spreading across the Internet, through cyclist hangouts and into bike shops that all it takes to open a circular-key lock, like the one on the famous U-shaped Kryptonite-brand lock, is a ballpoint pen.
Here's a link to the amazing video demonstration of something fun you can do with a Bic pen-- besides shooting spitballs in class, that is.

You just know the first guy to ever try this must be a big smartass.

I love smartasses.

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