Thursday, September 09, 2004


Garfield Ridge Exclusive: Michael Moore Used Time Machine To Replace Bush National Guard Documents.


Michael Moore, director of the smash hit documentary Fahrenheit 9/11, is being sought for questioning by Timecop Security for allegedly replacing original 1973 Texas National Guard documents with modern forgeries in an attempt to discredit President George W. Bush.

Time-travel enforcement agents were first alerted to Mr. Moore's time traveling schemes earlier this week after a Garfield Ridge exclusive report detailed Moore's plans to build a time machine in order to ensure voters in the year 2000 saw his film Fahrenheit 9/11.

While at first concerned by Mr. Moore's plans, Timecop Security decided to delay apprehension of Mr. Moore to better gauge his intentions.

Timecop Security agents plan their pursuit of Mr. Moore

With the assistance of Little Green Footballs, Garfield Ridge has learned that the document alleged to have been signed by Lt. Col. Killian in 1973 is in fact in modern Times New Roman font, a font that can only be produced by a computer word processor.

We have also learned that Michael Moore's fingerprints show up on these documents.

We have also learned that these fingerprints are embedded in a grease stain consistent with the ingredients found in Taco Bell's Nachos Bell Grande, which did not exist in 1973.

All Americans, everywhere and in every decade, are urged to be on the lookout for this man:

Last seen traveling in this vehicle:

Mr. Moore is believed to be extremely dangerous, and may be emitting noxious odors. Updates to this manhunt will be posted as they become available.

I read some of your blog, I won't claim to have read it all, and I'm fascinated as to why exactly you're not a fan of Kerry. Is it because you want your president to blow more stuff up, and kill more people for no reason?

Keep in mind there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and Afghanistan is pretty much in the hands of the taliban with the exception of very few cities.

Let me know.
"Is it because you want your president to blow more stuff up, and kill more people for no reason?"

Yeah, pretty much.

You're next.

Big Brother
Can I be anonymous too? Or is that 3? Kerry is the most pathetic candidate to ever enter a presidential race. The Democrats should be ashamed of themselves (if that's possible) for choosing this buffoon to represent them. He's got no chance to win, which is probably why he was chosen. They've got to get that spot open in '08 for Hillary.

The lefties go on for ever about the dishonesty of President Bush, but can't see the dishonesty of their own side, i.e. the fake memos, F911, Christmas in Cambodia. It's like dealing with brain damaged 2 year olds that just can't make a decision based on logic instead of their current, passing feelings. Stop sucking your collective thumbs and grow the fuck up!
You still have come nowhere close to answerring my question, but of course that is what the right does. Ignores the question, attacks the one who asked it. What is it about Bush that inspires rabid followers like yourselves? Is it his innability to form coherent sentences?

As far as the left lies, what is it about "SOME typewriters did not have superscripts" that you don't understand? What about F911? A movie that expresses one man's view and uses the means he sees fit to persuade, I didn't agree with some of his methods or arguments, but he made them well.

But, then, the right is so far beyond using empirical evidence to back up their points that most of them have forgotten what it is to have a well stated argument and back it up with facts. vets for truth being a prime example where a right wing lie has been disproven yet is still being repeated, because God Damnitt repetition equates to truth.

If it's pure bloodlust for the backwards religious types in Iraq and the middle east in general you want, just come out and say it.

Let me know.
Let me know,

I'll let you know.

BTW, glad to see you came back. I need folks to debate with. Trust me, I don't want just the people who agree with me visiting this site.

Well, okay, I kinda do-- but not all at *once*.

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