Monday, September 13, 2004


Hypothetically Ridiculous.

I really don't want to talk about North Korean nuclear tests anymore.

However, Jennifer at Demure Thoughts turned me on to a whopper of a John Kerry comment recorded in the New York Times. The original article is behind the annoying "free" registration wall (jerks), but here's the money quote:
When Mr. Kerry was pressed about how he would handle the threat of a North Korean nuclear test if he was in the Oval Office, he declined to be prescriptive, other than to say that the issue would probably have to be taken to the United Nations Security Council. "Hypothetical questions are not real," he said, arguing that North Korea was a case for preventive diplomacy, and that Mr. Bush's "ideologically driven" approach had kept him from truly engaging North Korea.
That's right, hypothetical questions are not "real." Gee, thanks for clearing that up, Senator Kerry. We wouldn't want to know how you'd deal with any "hypothetical" situations, like, oh, preventing a major nuclear crisis, a crisis that is most definitely "real."

Actually, come to think of it, I'm not sure I'd want to know how Senator Kerry would deal with this situation.

Man, I really hope the Senator toughs it out and continues to refuse to answer any hypothetical questions. That should make the debates a load of fun to watch. Perhaps even drinking-game-caliber fun. Not that your author ever needs an excuse to hit the Thunderbird, mind you.

I'd prefer not resorting to a Top Ten list here-- they're cliched, and besides, Ace of Spades has the market cornered on politically-related top ten lists. Given, however, that we all rip these things off David Letterman anyways, I figure I can be excused for "borrowing" Ace's schtick for a list every now and then.

Top Ten Things That John Kerry Insists Are Not Real
10. Smurfs.
9. Times New Roman.
8. Binomials.
7. The Cambodian border.
6. Male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbians.
5. Illinois Republicans.
4. The Electoral College.
3. Phantom Russian submarines.
2. His pre-nup.

... and the number one thing John Kerry insists is not real:

1. All polls that show President Bush ahead.

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