Sunday, September 12, 2004


Ooh, the Germans are mad at me! Ooh, the Germans!

Europe Sets Deadline for Iran on Weapons.

Europe's major powers have agreed to set a November deadline on Iran to meet demands meant to resolve concerns that it is secretly trying to make nuclear weapons, in a confidential document made available Saturday to The Associated Press.
"Europe's major powers," referring, of course, to Britain, France, and Dieter.

The draft contains a so-called "trigger mechanism," warning of possible "further steps" — which diplomats defined as shorthand for referral of Iran's case to the U.N. Security Council.
Garfield Ridge has learned that these "further steps" include a new United Nations resolution, the cancellation of diplomatic visas, and forcing Iran to rent the movie Threads from NetFlix.

However, if these measures fail to convince Iran to end its nuclear program, these nations suggest implementing a little-known codicil in the E.U. Constitution granting the President of the European Union unlimited powers in times of emergency.

In this event, Iran would be placed on "double secret probation" until the crisis is resolved.

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