Tuesday, November 02, 2004


Alan Keyes is no longer making sense.

Barack Obama the victor in the Illinois Senate seat.


Garfield Ridge can report that, upon delivering his concession speech, Alan Keyes will announce his candidacy for President of the Lollipop Guild.

He will then depart this Earth to rejoin the mothership travelling to the Hale-Bop comet.

"Humanity has proven unworthy of my leadership. Farewell, people of Earth."

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