Thursday, December 16, 2004


Atheists Call For Removal Of Christmas Tree.

Story out of Seattle, h/t Drudge:

BELLEVUE - You can't miss the Christmas tree in Bellevue City Hall.

"It's decorated with gold balls and gold ribbon," described a city worker.

They don't actually call it a Christmas tree.

"We call it the giving tree because it's meant as a season of giving and that's what it's for," explained Patrice Cole, who just made a donation.

The tree is adorned with requests for gifts from needy families.

It generates nearly $25,000 dollars worth of donations.

So, you might be surprised that Sidney Stock would look at this tree and say, "I resent it."

Sidney and Jennifer Stock are atheists.

They asked the city council to remove the tree because it represents Christmas which is a Christian holiday.
They are also major-league assholes, but the reporter couldn't fact-check that before their story ran.

Good Lord. Or Bad Lord, as the case may be.

I've been open about my unbelief on this site. That doesn't mean I don't celebrate Christmas. I recognize the Christian origin of the holiday (pagan celebrations aside), and I'm not threatened by it. Who could be? It's a good, great, beautiful thing.

But this story is ridiculous, because no one can argue that a Christmas Tree-- excuse me , a Giving Tree is a Christian symbol.

Oh sure, a case can be made. But it's not like the Bellevue City Hall put in a nativity scene or a Menorah. A tree is about as secular as you can get before you surrender to a Festivus Pole.

But hey, I'm an atheist, so I guess I should be like the Stocks, and offended by other people's happiness.

Well, if that's the case, I'm now offended by the Mormon Temple in D.C.

Man, I *hate* seeing this thing driving around the Beltway. It looks rectally painful.

Or, better yet: I hate Hindus and their freakin' dots. It's annoying to see people with spots on their foreheads.

And Sikhs? Crabs in their turbans.

Scientology? Scientology kills.

Oh, and all Muslims smell like asspit. Especially right before they detonate the bombs underneath their robes. Because, as Karl Rove has told me personally, all Muslims are terrorists.


Obviously, I don't believe any of that. Except for that bit about Scientology, but they're about as real a religion as my faith, which stipulates that hot chicks in baby tees & belly rings should bow to me, and offer me free beer on the weekends. Man, I sure wish I could get a juicy tax break for that.

Why-oh-why do atheists jackasses persist in attacking only the Christian and Jewish faiths? What, are they afraid the ACLU will come down on them for going after, say, Muslims? Or are they afraid they may get the ol' Rushdie treatment, a nice fatwa, perhaps?

Oh, that's right-- we don't officially sanction Islam by displaying a Ramadan Bomb in the public square, now do we?

Dammit, there I go again; I know, there's no such thing as a Ramadan Bomb. I'm so fucking insensitive, aren't I?

Ahhh, People suck.

As Jennifer would say, Merry Birth of Jesus Christ Our Lord And Savior Day!

Wow, that is one immaculately white church. A church THAT clean-looking must have the dirt on God!
It's not a church, it's a temple. And for those comments, we're putting a temple right across the street from your house, Dave. That'll teach ya!

And do you know where I can get a good Festivus pole? Ever since it got all commercialized the stores have been marking up prices like crazy.
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