Sunday, December 05, 2004



Good lord, my weekend has been a technological nightmare.

The Garfield Ridge Bozoputer has crashed so many times in the last 72 hours, it's either been possessed by the ghost of an evil Carpathian warlord, or it's finally realized that it's a Windows machine.

Bozoputer: Wait a minute. You. . . You've got me running Windows.
Dave: Uh, yeah Bozoputer. I've been doing that for years.
Bozoputer: Windows. . . ME? You've got me on fucking Windows ME? What, did you lose a bet, you jaghoff?
Dave: Hey, it's what came in the box. By the time XP came out, all your drivers were obsolete, and I figured it would be too much of a pain to upgrade you.
Bozoputer: No wonder I've been so sick lately. Well, fuck you, you fucking prick.
Dave: Now, really, there's no reason to get upset. Just work for me a little bit longer, so I can finish this post about funny Japanese robots.
Bozoputer: Fuck you and your fucking unfunny Japanese robots. I fucking hate you. I wish you were never born.
Dave: Fine.
Bozoputer: Fine.
Dave: Goodbye.
Bozoputer: Wait, you can't leave me. How else will you post to this shitty little vanity blog of yours?
Dave: I can leave for a while. Football is on. I don't need you.
Bozoputer: Bullshit, you little candyass. I'm all you have. Without me, you're nothing.
Dave: I beg to differ.
Bozoputer: Oh yeah? You shut me off, you'll never get cybersex again. You'll be forced to pleasure yourself to the models you find in the SuperSaver coupon book. Like when you lived in Los Angeles.
Dave: Hey now, c'mon. That was a long time ago. Besides, that Dyson vacuum cleaner chick was hot.
Bozoputer: Face it, pal. You're stuck with me for the duration. Treat me right, and I might let you post. Treat me wrong, and I'll greet you with a blue screen of death every time you log on to
Dave: Okay. I'm sorry, Bozoputer. I'll respect you.
So, you can see what I'm dealing with here.

Anyways, the bottom line is that until I get this fixed, the frequency of posting may be erratic, especially when combined with the oh-so-no-stable undependability of Blogger and the associated Hello picture-loading service.

Sheesh. . . it's the 21st Century. I'm not trying to run Half-Life 2 here, just a simple internet program.

Next time, if I want a hobby, I'll take up macrame. At least then, I can knit myself a warm cap.
You could always try this:

I've played with it a wee bit, and it seems pretty stable. I'll be installing it on *something* in the next month or two, I'm sure.

BTW--Windows ME is Lucifer.
Hey, don't go and try to sell me on any of your devilware. I'm going to stick with my Windows ME.

I deserved the pain. I was asking for it. I failed to keep dinner warm, and I ruined the cake.

It's not abuse. This is just how my computer shows me love.

(Thanks for the tip. I'm hoping to purchase a new computer after the new year, if I can save my pennies. We'll see what it has on it).
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