Thursday, December 30, 2004


Disney World: Not Just For Kids Anymore!

From CNN:
LAKE BUENA VISTA, Florida (AP) -- Adults I know who go to Disney World have this annoying tendency to describe how the theme park has helped them bond with their children, or how important it is to have the little ones teach them how to feel young again.

Now, although I'm a grown man with no spouse or little ones to snuggle, I can appreciate those sentiments. I just don't get one thing: why is it over-30s need kids to bring them back to Disney in the first place?
You know, this is a perfectly fine sentiment. I, for one, really enjoyed going to Disney Land when I was in sunny Southern California. It was clean, friendly, quiet (for a theme park), and just the right size for a nice day of fun.

As much as I love a good roller coaster, I just can't stand the Six Flags-model of theme park that much anymore. Too many crowds, too many teenage punks (hey, I didn't like them when *I* was a teenager either), half the rides are broken down, you have to pay for absolutely everything in the damn park, and the places usually look like and smell like a dysenteric bear den.

However, this guy writing for CNN struck me as perhaps a little *too* eager to defend his passion for the House That Walt Built. It's one thing to like a good time out; it's another thing to like Mickey Mouse as much as this guy does.

Hey, it's all good, right? I mean, it sure beats taking a sex vacation to Thailand. Lemme tell ya, are those things overrated!

Anyways, this brings me to the Garfield Ridge List Of Things An Adult Can Do At Disney World:

-- It's A Small World three-pitch overhand.
-- Fight terrorists at Epcot: Sunni Triangle.
-- Roast marshmallows when you reach Hell at the end of Mister Toad's Wild Ride.
-- Chug Nyquil. Ride Space Mountain. Hurl. Repeat.
-- Three words: Monorail Kama Sutra.
-- Pirates of Lake Huron!
-- Enter Donald Duck's Ultimate Fighting Championship.

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