Monday, December 13, 2004

 

Guess What?

Not only do the Redskins still suck, but I had to sit and suffer their suckitude in person.

I'll refrain from talking too much about the game, as you can read about it here at length. No need to get third-rate play-by-play from me.

Suffice it to say, I'm absolutely flabbergasted at the reaction of the Washington Post sports columnists this morning. They all watched the game with a collective shrug, and came down with a big "Eh. Oh well, we came close against the Eagles, that should count for something."

If that counts for anything, it's ridiculous horseshit, as the Redskins were in that game throughout, with ample opportunities to win.

When your absolutely phenomenal defense holds a playoff-bound team to under twenty points, you should have a chance to win. When you're losing by only three points in the last quarter, and that defense forges three (THREE!) consecutive 3-and-out Eagles series to repeatedly put your offense on the field with a chance to tie or win, you simply have to step up. And, when your defense can stop the other team from scoring, you don't play stupid, you don't gamble on offense.

So, with under two minutes to play in the game, down by three, thirty yards from the end zone, definitely in field goal range, two time outs, 1st and 10, and a 1,500-yard running back, the Redskins. . . throw into end zone traffic for an interception.

I've seen a lot of dumb calls in football. I don't know if I've ever seen one worse than that call. Ever.

But hey, we got Joe Gibbs back, baby!!!

[groan, grumble, motherpusbucket, grumble]

Anyways, while this was my second trip to FedEx Field, this was my first night game there, and the first time against a hated division rival. Interestingly enough, I'd say that at least a quarter to as many as a third of the spectators there were from Philly.

Also incredible was the great number of empty seats. I'm sure the Redskins would call it a sell-out, but at least a quarter of those seats were empty.

Yeah, it was a Sunday night game, and it was December, but it wasn't that cold, and c'mon-- these tickets are expensive. If you're a season or corporate ticket holder, paying a gazillion dollars for a seat to one of only eight home games each year, you go to the game, period. However, while the nosebleeds (i.e., the cheap seats) were pretty full last night, a lot yellow and red were showing in the club and box levels. Pretty sad.

But hey, where else can you go in Washington and pay $7 for a beer (!!) to watch people in skin tight outfits make fools of themselves under the lights? I mean, aside from a K-Street strip club?

Some of my favorite moments from last night:
-- Seeing the guys selling "Philly Sucks, Dallas Swallows" t-shirts outside the stadium. Nice to see that genre of sportswear isn't just for Boston Red Sox fans anymore.

Of course, it's also nice to know that no matter who we play, even the division-leading Eagles, Skins fans could still be counted on to yell "Dallas Sucks." Yup, it's getting to be a lot like Boston, all right.


Now, here's something we can *all* agree on.

-- Watching the beer guy remove and keep the screw caps from the plastic bottles, lest an angry fan chuck a Budweiser potato masher onto the field. I managed to joke that it was a good thing too, because you wouldn't want Ron Artest jumping into the stands at a football game.

-- Going to the bathroom at halftime with 300+ screaming people. The Redskins fans were yelling at the Eagles fans, the Eagles fans were yelling back. I turned to my buddy Mike with pride and said, "You know what's amazing about this scene? It's being replayed in every single bathroom in this stadium right now. Talk about civic pride!"

-- The halftime show, watching the Redskins marching band, a.k.a., "The *Only* Professional Football Team With It's Own Marching Band." You want to talk about a lousy career opportunities in college for a drum major? You've got only one place to go after graduation.

-- The best part of the halftime show? The special guests were Santa and Mrs. Claus. You know what happened when they showed up?

[wait for it]

The Philly fans booed Santa Claus!

I guess that it's been a cliche for so long, Philly fans now wear it as a badge of honor. Me, I was just surprised that no one started chucking D-cell batteries at the marching band.

-- The public transportation getup. Given Danny "Boy Billionaire" Snyder's desire to make you pay for everything, the Redskins charge $5 for a city bus ride from the subway, a bus ride that would normally cost only $2.70.

But, it must be said that the bus is more convenient than driving. If by "convenient," you mean "waiting for an hour in line to board a bus after the game is over." Yeah, then the bus is really convenient.

At 1:00 am, the mass of people, all held back by security behind a fenceline, waiting to rush the parking lot to board the buses started to take on the shape of war refugees. I told Mike that I half-expected Haing S. Ngor to run along the fence, family in tow, only to be told "Leave your bags behind! No bags! Only your wife and children!" I swear, it was like something out of Saigon, or the Stalingrad Airhead.


Running for that last bus outta Landover.

Anyways, in the end, it *was* a great game, albeit one as intensely frustrating as any they've played this season. Knowing how hard it is to get either a defense or an offense playing well, I worry that come next year, even if the Redskins offense is in better shape, there's no way the defense can look as good as they have this year. It's just impossible to keep playing at that caliber of play.

And thus ends the most egregious waste of a brilliant defense I've ever seen by one of the most disappointing pro football teams I've ever watched.

Comments:
Hmm Redskins...That's a football team right?

Jen :)
 
I thought I banned soccer fans from posting on this board?

Gotta check that code. . .
 
As an Eagles fan, I can only say "Whew" and "Ha."
 
The instinctual urge to watch professional sports was burned out of me during my formulative years as a boy growing up in Cincinnati during the '90s, so I am uniquely unqualified to discuss sports as any heterosexual American male can be. However, I do recall at least one or two seasons when the Bengals did manage a consistently formidable defense only to have an offense that couldn't rout a French platoon.

If your team blows in all categories it is one thing. You shrug and MoveOn. But if they have a single promising trait, it is worse. You look at that performance and think, "Why? Why torment me with this glimpse of what they could be?" and watch the inevitable loss.
 
Chilperic--

Yup. That's pretty much it.

Unabrewer--

I may have to rethink my blogroll ;-)
 
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