Monday, December 06, 2004


I know what I'm watching tonight!

MALIBU, California (AP) -- Fran Drescher's distinctive voice cuts through the noisy chaos of actors and production people crowding the deck of her beachfront home.

"Hi, everyone. How you doing?"

The star, known for her nasally whine, Yiddish exclamations, and ability to make a word like "wow" last as long as a sentence, was hosting a reunion of the cast from "The Nanny."

The gathering was staged as a dinner party where the leading lady and her co-stars reminisced. Their semi-scripted chatter was then intercut with clips from the series, which ran on CBS from 1993 to '99.

The result: "The Nanny Reunion: A Nosh to Remember" airing 8 p.m. EST Monday on Lifetime, which shows weekday reruns of the sitcom.
Man, I really wish I had TiVo-- I could save this television event for posterity.

Seriously, is there anything more non-essential than a Nanny reunion? Were we all sitting around wondering just what that wacky Fran was doing with all her spare time?

I'd rather watch thirty minutes of Chris Matthews debating Ron Reagan over which one looks better wedged up Chuck Hagel's ass.

I don't get it. Why don't they ever have a reunion show for something cool. Like, say, Hardcastle & McCormick.

Now *this* was a television show.

Wait, we can't do a H&M reunion? Why not?

Oh. I didn't know that. But Brian Keith looked so *young*. . .

Suicide? Huh. But he had so much to live for! What, with all those Family Affair royalties rolling in. It just doesn't make any sense, I tell you.


What about Lee Majors? Is he still alive? Yes?

Perfect. Fall Guy reunion, Spike TV. Let's make it happen, people.

Well, I'm not the kind to kiss and tell, but I've been seen with Farrah
I'm never seen with anything less than a nine, so fine
I've been on fire with Sally Field
Gone fast with a girl named Bo
But somehow they did not end up as mine
It's a death defyin' life I lead
I take my chances
I die for a livin' in the movies and TV
But the hardest thing I ever do is watch my leadin' ladies kiss some other guy while I'm bandagin' my knee
I might fall from a tall building
I might roll a brand new car
Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that made Redford such a star
I never spend much time in school, but I taught ladies plenty
It's true I hire my body out for pay, Hey Hey
I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs
Blown up for Raquel Welch
But when I end up in the hay it's only hay, Hey Hey.
I might jump an open drawbridge
Or Tarzan from a vine
Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine
Forget Fall Guy, we need another Six Million Dollar Man/Bionic Woman reunion movie! Yeah! And what about Simon & Simon???
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