Monday, December 27, 2004

 

Not A Lot Of Funny Out There.

Alright, so it's obvious I'm in a bad mood right now. And, reading the news, it's just pretty yucky out there.

C'mon; something like a billion people died from a freakin' wave. The pictures and video are just horrible. Not a lot to joke about there.

Thankfully, CNN also brings us the *real* news: A look at some of the offbeat stories of 2004.

Let's recap, shall we?

1. Bear guzzles 36 beers, passes out at campground (August 18)

Bear than tries out for Chicago, completes more passes than any quarterback this season.

2. It's splitsville for Barbie and Ken (February 12)

Ken then moved to Massachusetts.

3. Swimmer drives with shark on leg (February 11)

Borrr-ing. Call me when a shark drives the car.

4. Pup shoots man, saves littermates (September 9)

In related news, a cat once shot a man just for snoring too loud.

5. Study finds frequent sex cuts cancer risk (April 7)

Awww, bloody hell. I might as well start mainlining black tar heroin.

6. Police: Wedding guests eat victim (August 10)

It was either that, or the chicken cordon bleu.

7. Dog saves woman's life by calling 911 (October 29)

In related news, see #4 above.

8. Canadians open arms to Americans (November 15)

Ya know what? Screw you, Canada. Really, the "whiny bitchy unshaven sister who ran away from college with her Greenpeacenik boyfriend" bit is getting real effin' old. Grow a pair already.

9. Study finds dogs understand language (June 10)

An associated study finds cats understand women just perfectly.

10. Woman discovers fingertip in salad (March 5)

It's a good thing she didn't order the soup.


Comments:
Put the needle down. Number 5 doesn't say you need a partner.
 
Excellent and a much better post than mine on the same subject. I'm still learning this blogging thing, but hopefully improving!
 
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