Sunday, December 05, 2004
Woman auctions father's ghost on eBay.
HOBART, Indiana (AP) -- A woman's effort to assuage her 6-year-old son's fears of his grandfather's ghost by selling it on eBay has drawn more than 34 bids with a top offer of $78.What a great idea!
Mary Anderson said she placed her father's "ghost" on the online auction site after her son, Collin, said he was afraid the ghost would return someday. Anderson said Collin has avoided going anywhere in the house alone since his grandfather died last year.
Hey, as long as we're in the business of auctioning off non-corporeal objects, I hope someone buys me Bill Maher's eternal soul. Just so I can throw it into a ectoplasmic woodchipper.
Hmmm. I wonder how much quid I can spin by offering up one of my 67 multiple personalities for sale? Of course, after all these years, I don't know which personality I'd be willing to give up first.
Would it be:
-- Baron Seigfried, the petty tryant of harsh Prussian discipline;
-- Chicklets, the cute 13-year old Japanese schoolgirl who giggles when anyone says "vagina;"
-- Mister Winkles, the plucky ring-ring Christmas monkey;
-- Dave, my normal everyday personality, which, let's be honest, isn't exactly cutting the mustard with the long-legged showgirls desperately seeking dynamite Dave-love.
I must ponder. There is mad-crazy money to be made here, I just know it.