Friday, January 14, 2005

 

The Danish Threat-- Unveiled!

Sobekpundit offered kind praise for me and my ongoing struggle against the ape threat and the Danish tyranny.

Although I don't publicize my efforts against these horrors every day, you can rest assured that I am always on the case.

People often ask me, "Dave, I understand why we should fear the ape. But tell me: why we should fear the Danes?"

Let me tell you why: they're in collusion with aliens.

You doubt me? Let me introduce you to Princess Alexandra:



Now, the Princess is a bright, beautiful woman. She joined the Danish royal family in 1996 when she married Prince Joachim. They announced their divorce in 2004.

. . . Or did they?

The Hong Kong-born Alexandra may profess her love of charity work on behalf of her adopted homeland, but Garfield Ridge knows better.

You see, Princess Alexanda is a visitor. Not just from Hong Kong-- from another planet!

My evidence? Let us examine her facial structure:



Piercing eyes, puffy jowls, a curvy smile, and an artificially perfect nose. To date, such features have only been seen in one other woman:



It is clear that Princess Alexandra was enlisted-- natch, recruited-- into the Danish Royal Family for nefarious purposes. Alexandra is obviously in Denmark as a member of the Visitor's diplomatic corps. Her charitable activities serve as a cover for the harvesting of innocent Greenlanders for the Visitor's food supply. In return for this devil's bargain, the Danish Royal Family receives alien protection and technology.

I admit, it's only a theory, but reliable sources confirm that Princess Alexandra eats all her meals just like this.

The question remains: why the divorce? Perhaps the Visitors exhausted their Eskimo culls, and decided to recall Alexandra to the mothership? Or, maybe this is evidence of Machiavellian treachery on the part of the Blood Queen, only this time aimed at the aliens rather than the poor subjugated peoples of the Skagerrak? Only time will tell.

In the meantime: watch the skies. Watch the skies!

Comments:
Let's be honest: I'd sell out the human race to be Princess Alexandra's sex monkey. Just a heads-up for the alien procurers out there.
 
What disturbs me most, is the massive difference between pic one, and pic two. The second pic is not the princess, but a doppleganger! Again, you prove to be the most dangerous blogger in the square.

Natch.adv. Slang
Of course; naturally.


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