Monday, January 31, 2005


Man, I Wish I Had This List Before The Rectal Probing.

Care of the Weekly World News, "How To Tell If Your Prostitute Is An Extraterrestrial."

Here's a taste:
8. Seems telepathic -- A fallen woman who finishes your sentences or slips up and mentions your real name when you've given her a bogus one, is probably invading your thoughts -- and our planet.
Hmmm. I *do* remember telling her my name was Gerardo. . .

Personally, the Weekly World News missed one important indicator: if your call girl requests that she be paid in precious metals and/or human brains, that's usually a bad sign.

Trust me: VERY bad sign.

I like #2

Out-of-date lingo -- Alien prostitutes try to fit in by using streetwalker slang -- but often use outdated terms. A hooker who sees a police car and whispers, "Cheese it, the fuzz!" likely hails from deep space.I still say "cheeze it". But I've long since given up "The Fuzz" for the more up-to-date "Coppers".

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