Tuesday, January 25, 2005


The Ten Worst Movies Of 2004.

At least out of the ones I saw:

10. Eurotrip.
9. Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow
8. Blade III: Trinity
7. After the Sunset
6. The Village
5. Troy
4. Meet the Fockers
3. Alien Versus Predator
2. Fahrenheit 9/11
1. The Day After Tomorrow

no way Troy is better than Day after tomorrow.

I actually enjoyed sitting through DAT only because i love disaster films and have long ago suspended reality to watch them.

TROY just blew. it was suppose to be fantastic. All that talent and it was SHIT! Brad and his man thighs couldn't even save it for me. CRAP!
I'm assuming that's you Jen, as you're one of only two women I know who uses such "colorful metaphors."

Hey, once I hit the Top 5, they *all* sucked.

Troy was awful, but I cut it slack for Erica Bana and Sean Bean.

Meet the Fockers wasn't funny, which makes it worse than a bad action movie, because unfunny comedies are kinda against the whole point.

Alien Versus Predator is not only a bad action movie, it pisses firewater all over two beloved franchises. Oh, and it was unnecessary to boot.

Fahrenheit 9/11 would have been the worst movie of the year if it weren't a documentary, which I feel shouldn't technically count. That, and I didn't want to give it even *one* top award for the year.

Which brings me to The Day After Tomorrow. I had no problem with the "science" of the movie-- it's fiction, not reality. It was the film's insulting lack of common sense.

-- We can walk from Philly to NYC in a few days during an Ice Age
-- The whole world has shut down, but natural gas still flows into Wendy's (the official fast-food restaurant of the Apocalypse)
-- I was surprised the Vice President wasn't named Rick Haney. And our hero wasn't Al Glore.
-- Subzero microbursts can flash-freeze people, but not wolves.
-- Everybody burns books, but nobody burns wooden furniture and paneling.
-- No one in all of academia can spare computing power for Dennis Quaid's models, despite the rapid increase in nasty weather, and the fact that nearly every scientist in the real world would love to corroborate a theory like Quaid's.
-- Quaid's two friends come with him on an obvious wild goose chase certain to end in the death of them all because they're bored.
-- The United States doesn't flatten the Third World and take over whatever living space it wants in such a situation.
-- I laughed nearly as much at The Day After Tomorrow as I did at Shaun of the Dead, and Anchorman.

And I wasn't supposed to.

Yeah, it's the worst.
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