Tuesday, January 11, 2005


Who Wouldn't Want This?

Unlike some of my friends, I was never into collecting action figures after I grew up. Sure, they're cool to look at, but to me, a toy is a toy. I can't think of anything more boring than buying a toy and leaving it in the box on a shelf.

That was before I saw this 12-inch tall figure of Keith David in the movie Platoon.

"All you got to do is make it out of here. It's all gravy, everyday the rest of your life, gravy."

Unfortunately, they're all sold out. I think, however, there's a place in America for a whole slew of Keith David-related merchandise.

I'm not just talking 12-inch figures from The Thing, They Live, or There's Something About Mary. I'm thinking broader than that.

-- Alien-seeing sunglasses, as worn by Keith David.
-- Alien-incinerating flamethrowers, as used by Keith David.
-- Keith David's Kick-Your-Ass Corn Pops.
-- All U.S. Navy recruiters voice-coached to sound just like Keith David.
-- Upon request, he'll team up with Steven Seagal to clear your neighborhood of Jamaican drug dealers.
-- Keith David shows up at your house to personally ask what Brown can do for you.

"Somewhere out there is the beast and he's hungry tonight."

FYI: while looking at the multi-talented Mr. David's incredible resume, I noticed that one of his earliest acting credits was playing "Keith the Southwood Carpenter" on Mister Roger's Neighborhood from 1982-1985.

That was quite a few years later than when I watched the show regularly, but I'm still surprised I never caught him in an episode.

Keep in mind-- his role on Mister Roger's Neighborhood was *after* his role in The Thing, but before his role in They Live. I bet that connection had to screw up at least one kid's childhood.

"Kieth David's Kick-your-ass corn pops"Ok, That's all the funny I can take for one day. I'm going to bed. Yeah I know it's only 5pm, but it's just time.Hans
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