Wednesday, February 23, 2005


Blame Canada.

Our neighbors to the north have decided that they want no part of America's missile defense program. (H/T The Corner)

The good news is that I don't think our current missile defense architecture requires their assistance, at least not in the interim. Our facilities in Alaska and California have the job of covering the Pacific, and I believe the Atlantic wing of the sensor network will be covered by installations in the U.K. and Greenland.

But even so, you know what? I'm getting really sick of your shit, Canada.

For sixty years you've been part of North America's air defense network. Even now, members of Canada's armed forces sit side-by-side with the United States military in places like NORAD.

My suggestion? Perhaps it's time to pack your bags and go the hell home, Canucks.

Go to hell, Red Green.

If you don't want to cooperate with us, fine-- we won't cooperate with you. You're on your own from now on.

You can pray to your Molsen-swilling god Tuktoyaktuk that the North Koreans don't overshoot Alaska and hit Vancouver instead.

Or that no hijackers take over a passenger plane to crash into the CN Tower.

Border visas? Forget about it. We'll start treating the Canadian border like Mexico. Oh, wait; that would be an improvement.

Fishing rights? We're going to rape your seawaters for every last gasping chicken of the sea, and you won't be able to do a damn thing about it with your pathetic "navy."

So, just keep busy with your peacekeeping operations. Meanwhile, America will keep on fighting the hard fight.

T'was nice knowing you, Canada.

Sad, really. The Canadians were once the most feared soldiers in the world, along with the ANZACS. Now only the Aussies are still capable of kicking ass. Sigh.
Patton had a post on the subject a while back:

"It sounds quite simple to me: In order to "not participate" in the system, they'll have to specifically ask enemies to bomb them, and humbly request that the US avoid protecting them in the event."
I'm Canadian, and I have a blog, and I agree with you. Mind if I put your post on my blog? It's very good, and far too correct.
You're more than welcome to Mr. Mayor.

What's your blog address? I'll add you to my blogroll.

I could always use more friends in Canada, especially after "the incident."

Really, how was I supposed to know the age of consent in Manitoba? And how come it's not different for the Premier's daughter?

The anti-US attitude in Canada is what made me really hate living there. I have long hoped that everyone here in the States would finally get a picture of what they're really like, north of the border- not a bunch of polite, donut-munching, maple-coated mounties, but instead a rabble of spoiled socialists. It's like an annoying little dog- yap loudly at our backs, but turn into a tail-wagging pal when we have treats they might like. I can't believe I used to be married to one of them...
Jeeze Dave, the age of consent in Manitoba is 14. Thanks for letting me borrow your post, for life.
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