Tuesday, February 08, 2005


Howard Dean Now Sole Candidate for DNC Chairman.

Wow. Who woulda ever thunk this way back in January 2004?

Wait, who am I kidding? Self-destruction hasn't been this predictable since Saturday Night Live ran those "Toonces the Driving Cat" sketches.
WASHINGTON - Tim Roemer, the only remaining opponent of Howard Dean in the race to be chairman of the Democratic National Committee, said Monday he's bowing out of the race — but he offered a warning to Democrats.


I got into this race five weeks ago to talk about the devastating loss we experienced in November," Roemer said in an interview. "It was not about 60,000 votes in Ohio. It was about losing 97 of the 100 fastest growing counties in the country. If that's a trend in business or politics you're in trouble."

Republicans are in the strongest position they've been in since the early 20th century, Roemer said.

Roemer, who said top Democrats in Congress encouraged him to enter the chairman's race, said he wants to strengthen Democrats' position on national security.

"If there's one reason Senator Kerry lost the presidential race, it was because he failed to make the American people feel safer," Roemer said, adding that he also wanted to encourage talk within the party about developing a stronger position on values.
Hey, that Roemer guy-- he seems to make a lot of sense. Perhaps the Democrats should pick him to be the voice of their party.

Huh? What was that? They want *this* guy?

Oh, yeah. Him. Sure. He's a good choice too, I guess. Right. No, really. Nice guy. Fun with the kiddies. He knows about INTERNET. Big fan of Wyclef Jean, whoever that heck that is.

Hey, I'm whitebread; I don't know a whole lot about politically-conscious Haitian hip-hoppers popular in Vermont.

Anyways, I hear he's a good choice if the Democrats wants to be conciliatory to the Republicans and, you know, work together.
"I hate the Republicans and everything they stand for, but I admire their discipline and their organization."
Wow, Howie said that? That's so unlike him. I never took him for being so irrational.

I mean, aside from *that*.

Besides, it's easy to hate a party and everything they stand for, but still admire their discipline and their organization. I'm pretty sure that's Robert Byrd's latest stance on the Klan. Works well for Castro-lovers, too.

(Speaking of Castro, I've always been curious: when are Cubans no longer covered under the communist's free health care? Is it after their escape raft flees across the 3-mile limit, or the *12-mile* limit?)

Moving back to Dean, what's his agenda as DNC chairman?
Dean has said he will focus his efforts as chairman more on building the party at the local, state and national level, raising money and winning elections, while elected officials will be more responsible for policy positions.
If I'm not mistaken, that's been the objective of *every* DNC chairman, ever. RNC chairmen, too. Helluva way to benchmark, Dean-o.

But seriously, what sort of tangible objectives can we expect out of a Howard Dean DNC chairmanship?

-- No more caffeinated coffee served during the Iowa caucus.
-- Special weighting system affords 1257 delegates to the second-place finisher in New Hampshire.
-- Old Democrat mantra: We can win! New Democrat mantra: We can't lose, unless those Bible-reading pigpokers show up again.
-- Party platform includes right to a life. . . A lifetime supply of Planned Parenthood t-shirts!

Shirts also available in "Pump Me, I'm Easy."

-- In addition to Buddhist monks, Democratic Party fundraising will include Benedictine Monks, Augustine Monks, Art Monk, the estate of Thelonious Monk, and cast members of the hit television comedy "Monk".
-- One way to improve the next Democratic Convention? Two words: smoke machines.
-- For every Michael Moore-endorsed candidate who wins office, Moore eats free for a week at the Old Country Buffett.
-- The Daily Kos is provided with $100,000 in annual investment, approved talking points, and all the magical Loony Lefty dust he can snort off of Oliver Willis' tits.
-- The DNC's Senior Advisory Council will consist of an advisory council consisting of Jimmy Carter, George Soros, John Stewart, Green Day, the Washington Generals, that Australian guy from the Energizer commercials, and the talking telephone contained in the
Mystery Date! boardgame.

Yup, sure sounds like Mad Howie's gonna have himself one helluva Party. . .

This posting was made on my personal computer.

It's a good day to be a Republican.:D

Mike the DBS
Please kill me.
Keep abortion legal...you get rid of more potential liberals....
Bill Clinton is looking better and better every day...
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?