Saturday, February 19, 2005


I'm Back, Baby!

Okay, maybe not really back. . . I'll post a few things tonight, but I'll probably dive into things in earnest on Sunday.

But my guests have since left, my house is clean, I've got a belly full of dinner, and nothing left to do for the rest of my extended President's Day weekend.

Well, nothing left to do until sometime Monday-- I unfortunately brought some work home with me that I have to bang out before Tuesday morning.

I'm not sure if this is true for anyone else out there, but I've learned that bringing work home over the weekend employs the exact same model as high school or college home work did for me.

-- Come home Friday; plan on attacking work sometime on Saturday.
-- Battlestar Galactica, baby!
-- Sleep late on Saturday; think about attacking work sometime on Saturday.
-- Play Xbox for five hours straight; think about attacking work on Saturday night.
-- I have no food, I need to go to the grocery store.
-- Is beef jerky only a snack, or can it be a meal? Like, the whole bag can be a meal, right?
-- Hey it's Saturday night, you can't work. Not that I go out on Saturday night, but c'mon it's just the principle of the thing.
-- Sleep late Sunday; plan on getting work done early Sunday.
-- Wow, that George Steponallofus is a sniveling little shit, huh?
-- Hey, look, Roadhouse is on TV!
-- . . . and that very special episode of Different Strokes where Gordon Jump molests Dudley!
-- I've got to cook dinner.
-- I've got to call my brother.
-- Awww, shit, it's 8:00. Aren't the Simpsons on?
-- (RING!) Oh, hi Lori. No, I didn't know the Surreal Life is on. What channel is VH1 again?
-- Okay, fine, 9 pm. I guess I'll look at the stuff.
-- (Half-assed red penning later)
-- Yup, 10:30, time to blog a bit.
-- 1:00 am already? I better wake up early if I'm gonna get all this work done before the office goes to hell tomorrow!
-- 6:00 am (BUZZ!!! SMACK!!!)
-- 6:09 am (BUZZ!!! SMACK!!!)
-- 6:18 am (BUZZ!!! SMACK!!!)
-- Many nine-minute increments later.
-- 8:00 am (BUZZ!!! SMACK!!!) Okay, I gotta get up, take a shower.
-- 8:45 am, show up to work, "Boy, I spent all weekend looking at these papers, they're a mess. Give me a couple of hours to look at my notes, okay?"

Yup, that's basically how it is. My job is just like high school, without the ill-fitting gym shorts and romantic humiliation.

The good news: I've got Monday to procrastinate.

The bad news: my stuff is due at 0800 Tuesday, so there'll be no sleeping in.

Sigh. . . I need to find a job with no real work whatsover. Like Paris Hilton, or college professor.

Dave, I only make the college professor job look easy because I'm so damn good lookin'. It's actually exhausting...well, the commute is exhausting...

El Miguel
"Is beef jerky only a snack, or can it be a meal? Like, the whole bag can be a meal, right?"

That hits waaay too close to home. It's a good thing I'm married. The funny thing is, whenever she leaves town for a week, there I am in the store wondering whether beef jerky counts as a meal if you eat enough of it...

Just don't tell her I do that.
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