Wednesday, February 02, 2005

 

Introducing The Garfield Ridge Advice Column, Hosted By Dr. Zaius.

Well, at least that was my intent.

Ace expressed his disappointment that during my guestblogging, I didn't provide enough Dr. Zaius. Or, as the hairless monkey miswrote, "Professor" Zaius. Excuse me, but Dr. Zaius didn't spend six years in evil ape medical school to be called Professor, thank you very much.

Anyways, gee, thanks a lot pal. . . it's not as if I was posting on your site at THREE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING for my health.

Anyways, I don't want to hold a grudge, but that means I need to produce something with Dr. Zaius that would be of use to you, the readers.

My first instinct was simple: advice column.

Trouble is, I searched for Zaius in Google and the fourth link is. . . Love Advice from Dr. Zaius. So, that idea's out.

Thus, I now open it up to all of you: Dr. Zaius will help me-- a dirty human-- but I must offer him a gig that would make use of his wonderful talents: oratory, philosophy, and lobotomies.


How may I help you. . . human?

Any suggestions?


Comments:
I don't know anything about Dr. Zaius; judging from that luxurious mane atop his head(Never mind that he's covered in it), one can assume that the primate must have a vast knowledge of hairstyling techniques...
 
I'm always looking for tips on blogging, particularly on how I can promote my blog so that it stands out from the many blogs which have more substance, style, originality, better writing, grammar, spelling, are more current, and, well, you get the idea.

Just the other day, I was thinking to myself, "How can I grab a reader's attention like a gorilla netting a scantily clad trying to escape throught the brush?"

So, imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon this article.........Hel-lo?? Do I need to spell it out? Advice on blogging!

Thanks for asking,

John from a blog no one visits (except maybe some lunatic blogger who happens to be awake at 3:00 AM trying to come up with a post for some ingrate SOB's blog, because said SOB is off hob-nobbing with wannabe starlets).
 
I'm always looking for tips on blogging, particularly on how I can promote my blog so that it stands out from the many blogs which have more substance, style, originality, better writing, grammar, spelling, are more current, and, well, you get the idea.

Just the other day, I was thinking to myself, "How can I grab a reader's attention like a gorilla netting a scantily clad trying to escape throught the brush?"

So, imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon this article.........Hel-lo?? Do I need to spell it out? Advice on blogging!

Thanks for asking,

John from a blog no one visits (except maybe some lunatic blogger who happens to be awake at 3:00 AM trying to come up with a post for some ingrate SOB's blog, because said SOB is off hob-nobbing with wannabe starlets).
 
Sorry for the multiple posts. The so-called 'Blogger' software reported an error.

Stupid software!

Luckily, I know that the proprietor of this site knows how to delete multiple posts and comments.
 
Yeah, I wish I did.

Nope, your ignominy will last forever.
 
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