Monday, February 28, 2005


Oscar Rundown.

It's late, I have work in the morning, and there are wolves after me, so this'll be stream-of-conciousness:

-- I did okay. I knew the Best Picture/Director tandem would be a toss-up, I was 50-50, I bet wrong. Oh well.

Also, recording my picks with Mike before the show I switched Original Screenplay to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, so I got that one as well.

The one pick I'm absolutely kicking myself over is Morgan Freeman. For some unknown reason, I thought he had already won once before. Had I remembered he's never won, I would've listened to the buzz and picked him, as he's certainly more deserving of the "Gold Watch" Oscar than Alda was.

Which, let's be honest, is what half the Oscars are-- parting gifts for a good career. The other half go to the "bright young talent," and investment in the sure-to-be-wonderful careers of such luminaries as Pia Zadora, Cuba Gooding Jr., and Mira Sorvino.

-- I thought Chris Rock did fine, if a little too nervous (he flubbed nearly all the transitions; well, he, and the abysmal show direction this year). I laughed at all his stuff, even the Gap analogy. A little tasteless, considering, you know, we are fighting a war right now, but in the pantheon of jabs at President Bush, even I could enjoy the joke.

Still, I'll be surprised if Rock comes back next year, if only because he was pretty brutal with a lot of stars. There's a difference between gentle roasting, and some nasty shots. Then again, I agree with every dig he took, so he's got that going for him.

One last thing: Chris Rock had a brilliant, if overused, point about Jude Law. Which led to yet another instance of Sean "Spicoli" Penn publicaly demonstrating his complete lack of a sense of humor. What a jackass.

-- Speaking of jackassery, Tim Robbins wore a *diamond-studded* peace sign pin. If there's ever been a greater example of limousine liberalism at work, I've never seen it.

Oh, and it was nice to see Salma "Ask Me About Frida Kahlo's Politics" Hayek's mad props to my main man Che Guevarra. Sexy, stacked AND stupid; that's my girl!

-- I did *NOT* like the awards-in-the-stands deal. Yeah, sure, it saves time. But in a number of cases, they didn't even show clips from the movies nominated, which is unacceptable-- particularly in the short film categories.

Every year, Mike and I have an absolutely uncanny ability to pick the winning shorts & documentaries just from the combination of 3-second clips and audience applause. When the Oscars held true to form this year, like with the Best Documentary Short category, Mike and I both called it for Mighty Times based on that limited information alone. Yet, when it came to the Animated Short Film, no clip meant no idea.

More important than my selfish criticism, however, is just how insulting this is to the winners. These people spend their lives working hard to bring their visions to the screen, and in the greatest achievement in their professional lives, they get the rug pulled out from underneath them by a crappy telecast. It's one thing to rush Hilary Swank's interminable speech thanking her agents and lawyers off the stage; it's another thing altogether to shove the smaller filmmakers and craftsmen out of the limelight.

Very tacky.

-- Does Beyonce Knowles have pictures of Frank Pearson molesting a goat? She's beautiful, and she has a great voice, but there are hundreds of singers out there, why not enlist someone else for once? It was so egregious that I half-expected her to front Counting Crows tonight.

And what happened to the recent (welcome) trend of having the performers who sang the songs in the films sing them on stage? Or would we have learn that Emmy Rossum's singing in The Phantom of the Opera was completely mixed in a sound lab?

Man, sometimes I miss Rob Lowe and Snow White.

One of the DJs here in da Burgh was talking about how thrilled he was that Jamie Foxx won Best Actor. He always KNEW someone from Booty Call would eventually get an Oscar!
I was bitching about this in the stands crap. best line of the night was Rock noting sarcastically that next year they are gonna just give out the oscars in the parking lot.

What a bunch of self absorbed twats.

I thought beyonce was gorgeous. They did this a few years back with Celine Dion, remember? I think the show director gets tired of dealing with divas and performers who think the world revolves around their own scedule and chose one artist to deal with. e.g. Whitney Houston episode.

Salma is a blathering idiot. She is also drop dead gorgeous and quite funny at times. Stupid people can be very entertaining. Like most celebrities, prolonged removal from the reality of life has rendered her a total moron. I find it hysterical that she has been living and working in this country for well over a decade, nearly two and she still sounds like a waitress in Tijuana. I know people who moved here from Mexico and after a while the accent thins. She just wants to sound like a husky voiced Charo for the rest of her life.

Sean Penn is a joyless prick. he is the biggest cocksucker on the planet and no one, I mean no one is more convinced of his own self worth than this smug little prick. Jude is a brit, for crying out loud he was probably laughin at some level at the jokes. I would like to know how Robin Wright lives with his egomaniacle nonsense.

I too noticed the diamond peace sign, just sums it up doesn't it?

I think this entire telecast was one long episode of hollywood elites patting themselves on the back for allowing all the black folks to get on stage with them..

How shitty is it that people who won awards for their life's work had to sit in the cheap seats while Sean P. Diddy Puff Daddy Inarticulate Mumbling Buffoon? What has he ever done other than screw J-lo that is of any significance? oh yeah, he was friends with Notorious B.I.G. I forgot. I wanted to puke. Jamie, haley, denzel, and even Chris Rock are all movie industry folks at a movie industry event. Do we really need Jay Z and P. Diddle?

That and Marty got snubbed again. I think he screwed someone at price waterhouse's wife or something.
No, Emmy Rossum's voice is the real thing. Saw an interview where they asked her if her voice was dubbed. She responded by singing...awesome voice.
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