Tuesday, February 15, 2005


Who Here Wants A Hot Dog?

Like many people, I enjoy a good hot dog every now and then.

Whether at the ballgame or in my backyard, hot dogs go great with just about any activity.

However, I can't tell you how many times I've thought about having a hot dog only to be discouraged. I mean, they're just so damn hard to cook!

Boil 'em, grill 'em, nuke 'em-- any way you slice it, cooking a hot dog is a pain in the butt.

That is, until now! One man has arrived to make all of my hot dog cooking disasters a thing of the past.

That man, naturally, is Deion Sanders.

Some things you just can't unsee.

Deion spent years hot dogging both on and off the field, and now he passes his culinary talents on to you, the consumers.

Seriously, when you need a decent hot dog, who else to turn to than the greatest football player/baseball player/barbecue cook of all time?

Don't take my word for it-- watch the commercial for Deion Sander's Hot Dog Express and judge for yourself.

Are you tired of eating ugly split hot dogs?

Are you constantly fighting with the barbecue?

Are you eager to eat a pork sausages cooked by a man who wears more jewelry than any man this side of Mr. T?

Then you're in luck, because, to quote the testimonal, "Deion Sanders knows how to make a good hot dog right here."

All kidding aside, I wonder how many other great products today's retired athletes have up their sleeves, just waiting for the right marketing:

-- Bill Walton's "Great Looking Retarded!" Hair Gel.
-- William "The Refrigerator" Perry's Riblet Blender.
-- Jose Canseco's Spray-On Clear and Cream.
-- Joe Namath's Patented Six-Pack Pickup Lines.
-- Denny Neagle's Condom & Bail Money Buddy-Pack
-- Boomer Esiason's Boomer Brand Sanitary Napkins.

-- Derek Jeter's A-Rodomizer Pleasure Vibe.

Yup, probably a bevy of great ideas out there, just waiting for the right athletic endorsement.

As a native St Louisan, I can tell you that I was scarred for life by Lou Brock, and his brock-a-brella
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