Thursday, March 03, 2005


Milton Academy Sex Scandal.

This is just too much fun. Sad, but fun. From Boston. com:
An investigation at Milton Academy has turned up a third oral-sex session between a 15-year-old sophomore girl and varsity ice hockey players at the prestigious prep school, according to a school letter to be sent to parents today.

In the newly discovered episode, two hockey players and another 15-year-old male student requested and received oral sex from the girl in a boys locker room on Sunday, Jan. 23, the letter says. The school had previously reported that on Jan. 22, the same group engaged in the same sex acts in a boy's dorm room and that on Jan. 24, the hockey players, joined by three teammates, received oral sex again from the girl in the boys' locker room.

The school also reported a fourth episode to authorities yesterday, this one at a downtown hotel room, according to a state official briefed on the report. The same girl and two of the same hockey players allegedly attended a birthday party Feb. 12 at the Courtyard by Marriott hotel, where some guests engaged in sex acts, said someone who has spoken with students at the party and a school official who spoke on condition of anonymity.

The school expelled the five hockey players last month and put the 15-year-old boy and the girl on leave. School officials said at the time that the episode in the locker room was an isolated event. They said that the 5-1 male-to-female ratio in the locker room episode represented coercion of the girl, whether implicit or explicit.
A 15-year old girl gave oral sex to five boys in the locker room.

The obvious question is, of course, where was this girl when *I* was in high school?

I don't remember anything like this in my high school, and I went to a Chicago public high school. It wan't quite as bad as the schools in Teachers, The Principal, or The Substitute, but it wasn't Milton Academy, either. Well, not like the Milton Academy that I thought I knew.

I seem to recall the easy girls in high school either had that rep unfairly-- you know, mean ol' gossip and all-- or if they were easy, they were pretty much monogamously easy, i.e. with a steady boyfriend. I certainly didn't know any girls who were passed around like a Sega controller during a Mortal Kombat II tournament.

And I certainly never got to, ummm, enjoy these easy girls in high school. My friends and I were usually pretty happy when the girls spoke to us. I don't know what I would have said had any offered to take special care of my teenage angst after gym class.

But I *do* know what music I would have played.

What makes this story so endearing isn't the actual tale of wanton teenage lust, but the reaction of some folks to it.

Knowing that everyone's favorite Blog-o-Mom would have her own opinions on the matter, here's what Jennifer had to say.

Even better, Jennifer got into a bit of a catfight with another, inferior Jennifer over at the comments section of Wizbang. Here's just one delicious post from the sub-Jennifer:
Why is the girl "sad" and "pathetic"? Girls physically mature sooner than boys; this girl has likely been physically a woman for several years. She has physical urges and desires. Why do we assume that a girl giving BJs is sad and pathetic, and not acting out of her own sexual desires? The boys getting the BJs may be insensitive, but they're not just as "sad" and "pathetic"? Hello, we all remember that women like sex too, don't we? You can argue about whether a fifteen year old is capable of making "choices" about sexuality, but everyone is assuming that the girl is pathetic and has somehow been exploited. I'm here to tell you that ain't necessarily so.
After reading this, I feel like turning to the greatest singer-songwriter of the last fifty years for some more music.

As the Good Jennifer writes later, I don't think anyone can assume this girl if a victim (girl, not a woman-- only girls older than me are women. That's my rule, deal with it). She's just stupid.

Because-- as any guy knows-- they're getting the good end of the deal here.

What's so funny about the above quote from Bizarro Jennifer is how much she sounds like the last girl I dated. I always had to hear about how liberating female sexuality was, and how great it was when women were in control of their bodies, and how fantastic it was when women were the aggressor in the relationship.

Alas, for my luck, it was a case of "do as I do, not as I say," and ergo I got less action than Jud Bucheler during the Chicago Bulls' repeat threepeat.

But what our little princesses don't seem to understand is that sexual power dynamics are even *more* complex than the nuances their oh-so-smart minds see in them. Everything from love to trust to maturity swirl to make a mess of anyone's love life, let alone that of a fifteen-year old girl. While such a girl's plumbing may be flushing, anyone can tell you the water ain't safe to drink yet. A fifteen-year old girl in today's America isn't mentally prepared for the psychological consequences of *one* decent blowjob, let alone five sloppy ones.

As Paul Anka would say, that's just the fucking way it is.

Man, at this point in my life, I guess I'm glad I'm not a parent. If I ever have kids, I'll never let them out of the house. They're gonna live at the bottom of a well putting lotion on their skin while Daddy stands at the door with a shotgun.

Sorry Dave, you forget to post, and I forget to read. Maybe I could make it up to you. Meet me in the locker room later.

Seriously, people like bizarro Jennifer should NOT have children, because they'll end up as skanks. I have two daughters, 17 and 12. While the shotgun is nice, I'm leaning toward the M-79 blooper. In a shoulder holster.
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